Preparing for Deployment Season is similar to managing a checking account or filing taxes; it takes time, is painful, and requires diligence, support, acceptance, hope, prayer, and an organization to go well.
Deployment Season is beginning for many of my friends and community. There is a lot of things to consider; that need to be done before deployment to ensure that the family at home will be safe. Sometimes commands will have families fill out a deployment checklist packed full of all the legal aspects of deployments, power of attornies, banking, wills, updating the SGLI, the Gi Bill, and so on.
But what about the emotional part?
The command never attended to the emotions accompanying the deployment for the family or the service member.
Suicide rates are high in general, and they are exceptionally high in the military for children, spouses, and service members. What are we supposed to do with that information?
If we ignore or stuff the emotions, they become trapped, leading to various difficulties. However, dealing with emotions can be challenging, especially when dealing with the family and all their emotions simultaneously. I created a program called the Emotional Deployment Development Program; it is a program for military spouses that guides, supports, and educates spouses on the cycles that their family is experiencing and gives them insight into how those emotions present.
Once you understand the root of the emotions, you can prepare to deal with them productively.
When children are involved, you are not only showing them how to cope with difficult emotions and situations effectively; you are building connections, resiliency and strengthening their character and value system.
The Emotional Deployment Cycle is an ongoing cycle constantly changing and evolving, just like you and I. It is common to feel differently and experience deployment differently each time because the deployment conditions and your conditions will never be the same.
Think of it as an emotional bank account. Each month you deposit so much money into your bank account, there are some bills that you can anticipate, like car insurance, rent, or a phone bill. Still, some expenses that would be referred to as unexpected or miscellaneous, like a flat tire even an expected expense that is not monthly like an oil change and the cost of inflation, can throw your budget into the red or negative balances.
Your emotional bank account is similar in so many ways. We deposit emotions, then we expend or spend our deposited emotions on life events; the events in life that we expect to pay for are more accessible than the ones that come as a surprise or that we are not prepared to spend on.
It is essential to prepare emotionally for deployment, and knowing what to expect makes it easier to cope, understand, and have grace when heartache, frustration, and anger arise.
I am inviting all spouses that would like more information, support, or get some good advice and techniques to better cope to join my free Facebook group by clicking the link below.
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