EMOTIONAL CYCLE OF DEPLOYMENT 101

THE EMOTIONAL CYCLE OF DEPLOYMENT IS COMPOSED OF 3 STAGES & 7 STEPS. ONCE UNDERSTOOD WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU VIEW STRESSFUL SITUATIONS & ADVERSE REACTIONS OF LOVED ONES, ALLOWING YOU TO PREDICT BETTER AND PLAN SUCCESSFUL, CALM, CHAOS-FREE DAYS WITH YOUR CHILDREN, SELF, AND PARTNER.

NOT ALL CYCLES/STAGES ARE UNHEALTHY. SOME OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE WORTH WAITING FOR. I TRULY BELIEVE UNDERSTANDING THE CYCLE OF DEPLOYMENT SAVED MY MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. I HAVE GONE THROUGH 12 LONG DEPLOYMENTS, LOTS OF WORKUPS, DETACHMENTS, AND LAST-MINUTE TRIPS WITH MY HUSBAND. DURING THE FIRST DEPLOYMENT, WE WERE STILL DATING. WE WERE MARRIED AND MOVED (PCS'D) EVERY 1 TO 3 YEARS FOR THE REST. UNDERSTANDING WHY OUR CHILDREN WERE BEHAVING THE WAY THEY WERE MADE MY REACTIONS MORE COMPASSIONATE BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD THE ROOT CAUSE OF THEIR BEHAVIOR. I FELT BETTER ONCE I UNDERSTOOD MY REACTIONS AND THAT WHAT I WAS FEELING WAS NORMAL, AND WHEN MY HUSBAND RETURNED, I WAS ABLE TO HAVE MORE UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENTS WITH HIM BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH.

THESE CYCLES ARE IMPORTANT EVEN FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE GONE THROUGH DEPLOYMENTS BEFORE BECAUSE EACH DEPLOYMENT IS DIFFERENT. YOUR CHILDREN EMOTIONAL REACTIONS WILL CHANGE EACH TIME, YOUR REACTION WILL CHANGE, AND YOUR SPOUSE'S REACTION WILL CHANGE EACH TIME.

FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN WE STARTED, I MISSED HIM SO MUCH IT HURT; I REMEMBER CRYING FOR DAYS, MONTHS BEFORE, AS WE PREPARED FOR D DAY. AS TIME WENT ON AND LIFE CHANGED, I FOUND MYSELF RESENTING WHAT I VIEWED AS FREEDOM. I STILL MISSED HIM LIKE CRAZY, BUT WHEN I HEARD ABOUT ALL THE THINGS I COULDN'T DO WHEN THEY HAD DOWNTIME, I WAS RESENTFUL, EVEN A LITTLE JEALOUS, IF I AM BEING COMPLETELY HONEST. UNDERSTANDING THIS CYCLE HELPED ME COME TO TERMS AND ACCEPT THAT THE WAY I WAS FEELING WAS NORMAL AND MY SPOUSE FELT THE SAME WAY. ANYWAY, I CAN GO ON AND ON, I HAVE HELPED LOTS OF MILITARY SPOUSES UNDERSTAND THE CYCLES, AND I WANT TO CONTINUE TO HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.

I HAVE INFORMATION FROM JUST ABOUT EVERY WALK OF LIFE AND AM GOING TO BREAK THE CYCLE DOWN INTO SMALL WEEKLY, DIGESTIBLE CHUNKS AND FOCUS ON MINDFULNESS AND SELF-CARE AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE AS THE SPOUSE HOLDING DOWN THE HOME FRONT, WE ARE THE ANCHOR FOR OUR FAMILY.

IF YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OR LOVED ONE IS ON ACTIVE DUTY; OR SEPARATES FOR AN EXTENDED AMOUNT OF TIME, YOU ARE IN THE CYCLE.